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Travelling Chronicles: Chapter 1
A Fortunate Meeting A cloaked man pushed the door of the Dahlia Inn open as a storm raged outside, thundering loudly in the background, making the small form in the stranger's arms quiver in silent terror. Gently, he raised his hand drenched in rainwater to pat them on what appeared to be their back, which soon seemed to calm their frightened tremors. A faint smile, adorned with tired wrinkles, made its way on his face and he quickly shut the door behind him as he stepped in, exhaling with relief. Once again, the rain had caught him and the tiny form in his arms, his daughter Elysia, by surprise. Albeit common, the phenomen wasn't any less shitty, and Nath had the displeasure to find out that his annoyance with sudden rain showers didn't diminish with time. Fall really was one hell of a shitty season. At least spring had beautiful flowers and temperatures rising as the months progressed to compensate for the rain showers. But what did fall have? Nature dying, more bugs and disgusting insects crawling out of the ground to fester on dying lives and the slow decrease of temperatures, which would then lead to winter. Nath had always like winter as a kid, with how silent the world was, engulfed in beautiful snow. But now that he had more than five years of sleeping outside of experience, he really despised the season, especially ever since he became a father. Living a travelling life really wasn't made for something as small as fragile as a child, he bitterly thought as he watched his daughter sleepily eye him as he got rid of his drenched cloak. It made him sad to think that all of his baby girl's birthdays had been spent outside, in the snow, with nowhere to call home. So, to cope with the feeling, he made himself a promise: her next one would take place in their new house. It didn't matter if it was a shitty cottage, he just didn't want to spend his winter days spoon-feeding his daughter medecine for colds while ignoring his own burning up forehead. He was simply sick of it. Walking to the barman holding the inn's restaurant, Nath took on a confident walking stance, trying to rub the exhaustion out of him by pretending it was nothing. He couldn't afford to let Elysia worry about him, after all. But she didn't seem to notice a thing as she was rubbing her eyes and staring owlishly at her surroundings. When finally arriving at the barman's level, Nath engaged a conversation while trying to stifle a yawn. "How much for your cheapest meal? I'm not picky." he asked. "I'd be about 600 jewels, son, but I'm afraid we don't have much room left." the barman replied as he shook his head. "The inn's packed 'cause of bad weather. Sorry, son, but you and your kid'll have to find somewhere else." "Seriously? There isn't any room at all? If it's about my daughter, she can make herself really small. We won't cause trouble at all. Please, it's raining dogs outside and I wouldn't want her to catch a cold. I absolutely need to pack some supplies as well!" Nath pleaded him obnoxiously, aware that he was making a scene, but if homelessness taught him something, it was that you sometimes had to swallow any sense of pride you had and plant your face into the dirt to get anything at all. "Alright, alright, no need to get so worked up about it, son. I'll see what I can do about it, but you might wanna ask young missus over there if she'd let you at her table, 'cause that's about the only free room I'm seeing." the barman told Nath, pointing to a person with intricate tattoos. Carwyn Abriam sat off to the side, eating her food, when she took notice of the scene at the bar. She bit her lip and watched for a moment extra.When she was pointed out, her gaze quickly moved down to her plate of food and water, aiming to not look as if she was eavesdropping. Her tattoos moved slowly, adjusting their position as she focused on finishing her meal. She tore through the chicken leg she was eating as if she hadn't eaten in days which wasn't far from the truth. When she was done, she pushed the plate upwards on the table. She was drenched in water, her grey tank top sticking to her body and her hair matted to her face. She was barely lucky enough to get out of the weather and still get a room. Nath approached her table, wary of who he was about to encounter. It wasn't so much the tattoos that frightened him – a person's naughtiness had no relationship with their numbers of tattoos, after all, guilds had one as a mark of ownership and it didn't make them more of troublemakers – but more his general caution around strangers that acted out. He's had his fair share of dangerous people living on the streets and there was no way he was going to piss off a potential thug if it meant they'd go after him and his precious daughter afterwards. So, when he finally came to the stranger's level, he asked her cautiously: "Hey, would you mind me sitting at your table? It's just the time of a meal, I swear." She tilted her head up at the male, eyeng him, before nodding her head silently. She didn't speak just yet, only gestured for him to sit. She eyed Elysia before letting out a pleased hum. "I don't mind." She cleared her throat awkwardly. "Company is a hard thing to find these days." "It really is, hey? I used to have someone travelling with me, well, besides Elysia, my daughter, of course. But we had an argument and took different roads." Nath chuckled, a nostalgic look painted on his face as he seemed to recall faraway memories. The barman came to their table and asked for his order, to which he replied he'd take the cheapest meal they had, which was a plain pasta plate with some greyish vegetables. He'd take that over eating dirt. Slowly, he started spoon-feeding his tired daughter, that could barely hold her eyes open at this point, giving her over half the meager serving to then eat himself. Between two bites, he tried to engage in a pleasant conversation, figuring that while he was at it, why not try and know this stranger better? "So, I don't think I've heard your name, if you don't mind me asking? I'm Nathaniel, but everyone calls me Nath. It's easier to remember." "Carwyn Abriam, but people call me Mouse." She nodded at him before ordering herself some dessert. "It's nice to meet you Nath. I'm assuming the little bundle of tiredness is your daughter? She's rather adorable." She looked to the side, inspecting the other people in the building rather closely, as if looking for targets. "What brings you here?" She questioned quietly, watching him and the child silently. "Nice to meet you." Nath told her, holding his hand to reach hers and shake it. He then pinched his daughter's cheek affectionately, smiling when noticing she was fast asleep and snuggled against his chest. He'd never get enough of these sweet moments, caught realizing that this little alive being was his. It also brought the realization that he had to take care of her and ensure her safety and happiness alone, and he wondered how he could shoulder the burden sometimes. "Yeah, she's mine. My little blissful heaven. She'd like to heard that, but I think I'd rather not wake her up just yet. We had a long day." He paused, considering her question throughoutly. "Well, my feet did for sure." He joked, then resumed with a more serious tone. "Nothing much actually. I'm just walking around, with no destination in particular in mind. I'm just trying to find some place to settle down, honestly, but I'm not much for religious places and this country's infested with it. What about you?" "I'm running from my family. A lifetime of a responability that I never asked for." She responded and grinned brightly when her usual dessert was set in front of her. A cheesecake. "I don't have anywhere to go either. Just away from my home is enough." She quickly finished half the slice before offering him some. "Do you want some strawberry cheesecake?" Any comment on her background that he wanted to make instantly died in his throat as his mouth immediately begun to water. Not even caring that he looked like a starving animal – which, to be honest, he was, with how he would always put his daughter's needs before his own – he started to nod vigourously even before a question left his lips. "Can- Can I really?" Her eyes widened. "Of course!" She smiled, chuckling lightly. She found his excitement for cheesecake both cute and depressing. "Had I known you'd get this excited, I could've ordered you a whole slice for yourself! Maybe next time. How long do you intend on staying?" As soon as he had been told he could, Nath had wolfed down the cheesecake as if it was going to disappear if left unattended, but not without enjoying it to the fullest, savouring each bite as if it was his last. His eyes were leaking half-formed tears now as he wondered if some mysterious God had granted him unlimited chance tonight with a slap on the back and screamed at him to "go get 'em, tiger!" or something along those lines. It was probablyy the God of the Homeless speaking, or the God of Food, either of those. Which reminded him he'd kill for some apple doughnuts. Thinking about the delicious treats, his hunger begun to awake, but he contained it by stuffing himself with more cake, until there was nothing left of it at all. Eying the empty plate with a bit of disappointment, he yet tried to see the good in the situation: hey, he still got some free cake! Well, free, not exactly after all. There were no such things as free gifts. He wouldn't want to be indebted to someone he didn't know much, after all! "No, please, it's fine. Here, just let me repay you. How much did it cost already?" he smiled between grinted teeth. Well, he was going to be shorter on money than he thought for the night, but screw it! He'd find some quest with the barman and then he'll get enough money to survive some more, right? And to afford apple doughnuts. Or pears. He'd love some pears. Or some sweets. But there was a time for everything. And now was the time to repay this kind fellow traveller however he could. He thus started fumbling with his wallet as he answered her second question: "Not for long. I'll sleep the night here, pack some supplies in town, and then I'll probably set out to somewhere else. Maybe I'll look around if this town is worth settling down in." He yawned. Carwyn listened to him, but made no move to tell him how much it had cost. She wore a small smile as she watched him fumbled for his wallet. She leaned over and grabbed his hand. "Don't." She murmured gently, shaking her head. "I come from a wealthy family where my duties are well paid for. Do not ever think of paying me for my kindness to you. I have money, enough to help you and your daughter, Nath. So don't worry about paying me back." She continued to smile at him. "B-But I've just barely met you!" Nath cried out anxiously. "I can't accept money out of someone I only barely met! It's not against you, really, but I really can't bear the idea of having a debt to repay... I'll, uh, just leave the money here and go look for a room. Elysia's tired and needs a bath anyways..." he sputtered out, quickly making his leave without letting her answer as he left some cash on the table. Facing burning red with embarrassment, he walked back toward the barman to pay for his meal and ask for information. "Here." he said, as he handed the man 600 jewels, like he had been told it costed. "How much is the room already?" "I don't think you quite got what I said earlier, son." the barman replied. "When I told you there wasn't much place anymore here, I meant it. There's no room left that'd fit you and some kid. You alone, perhaps, but not the two of you. So get lost." The nickname he was giving Nath was getting harder to hear with how sarcastically it was pronounced. At least it wasn't blatant misgendering, just simple mockery of this poor, angry man making a fuss for his kid and really, why bother having a kid in the first place when he lived on the streets? Wasn't it just the most stupid waste of money? He could afford so much if he had just dumped the kid in a trashcan, like they all usually do. At least in an orphanage they wouldn't live in misery... laughed whispering voices within, as he bit his lips to keep the tears from running down his cheeks. Nobody understood. Nobody ever did. Was it what his parents had felt when they had him? Is it this kind of pressure that got to them and made them give him up? Sure, he understood where they came from, but the wound still festered, unhealed, as he had been forced to consider that their love hadn't been strong enough to fight against their lack of money. Or perhaps they simply didn't have the skills necessary to lift themselves from poverty, especially with a child at charge. Had they even been given the chance to fight back? Had they grown on the streets, with nobody to offer them a hand as they were dragged further and further down? At least they've had each other. Right now, Nath was alone. And the simple realization of this fact, after two years of grinding his teeth in the dirt and using what little strenght he had to try and protect his child when he couldn't even protect himself, absolutely shattered him. It felt so incredibly awful that it was as if all hecould do now was to sit outside, curl up onto himself and wait to die. Carwyn had watched him after he got up and sighed heavily before shaking her head. She stood up and approached Nath. "I don't mean to intrude so much, but you can stay with me, Nath. I have a double bed room and as you can see, I'm one person." She offered him a hand, smiling one of her best smiles at him. "Besides, she needs to see you well rested. That's what being a parent is. Suffering for your child, but not allowing them to see you hurt. Your daughter needs to see her father well rested now come, I'm not taking no for an answer." She kept her hand out for him to take. Nath hesitated for a solid second. Did he really deserve that chance? Was a benevolent god really holding out a hand for him to take in the form of Carwyn? Was it a promised salvation at a time where he was so close from giving up? He wanted to say that he'd wait for the next inn, but the bare thought of dragging himself outdoors with the weather exhausted him even further. As he was weighting his options, a tiny hand grabbed his chest and Elysia's sleepy face looked up to meet his, smiling sleepily in that cute way of hers. His heart melted on the spot. She couldn't afford to wait more. She didn't deserve it. For my child, I'm willing to fight against the whole world. He held out his hand awkwardly to meet Carwyn's, and took it. She was the salvation he had prayed for. ---- As the room's door closed behind him, Nath let out a relieved breath. Looking at the bed offering themselves to him made him teary-eyed, but he held it in, knowing Elysia came first. She wouldn't be hard to take care of, considering she was once again fast asleep. Yet, despite knowing he had matters to take in his own hands, he only stood awkwardly next to the closed door, as if waiting for a signal to take his ease into the room. "It doesn't bother you? To sleep in the same room? I mean, I'm- well..." he stuttered, embarrassed, wanting to put into words why exactly she wouldn't want to sleep next to him. It wasn't because he was a man, because he wasn't bodily speaking, so there would be no reason for her to fear sleeping next to him! Not that woman on woman rape didn't exist, but he would never...! But saying he wasn't a man wouldn't sound true either... How exactly could he put into words the fact that he was a man in a woman's body without disgusting her? She wouldn't want to sleep in the same room as him after that. So, not knowing what to do, he diverted the subject. "Would you mind me using the bathroom to wash my daughter? I won't take too much time, just enough to take theses few days' dirt away." Carwyn raised an eyebrow. "I have older brothers and a twin. I've slept with people in the same room before." She rolled her eyes and sat on her bed. "You don't need to ask me. This is your room now too, you know. What's mine is yours and all that, I don't mind sharing." She found his need to ask if she minded his use of the bathroom rather sad as she chalked it up to his time travelling and meeting people who were nowhere near as kind as she was. She thought about it longer and the more she did, the more determined she was to try to help him and Elysia. Nath thanked her with a quick bow and made his way into the bathroom, that he locked behind him for good measure. He hadn't told her he planned to undress as well, because who would tell that to what was essentially a stranger?! And he wasn't quite comfortable telling her about his... condition just yet. So, as he chased the thought out of his mind, he inspected the bathroom, only to discover how luxurious it truly was. A bath. There was a bath in there for fuck's sake. He hadn't nearly stepped next to a bath in literal years. Having a room with a shower had been a luxury, but that? How rich was this girl?! He couldn't hold it in anymore, and tears rushed out, leaking on his cheeks in unstoppable torrents. Fate had it good for him today. It really did. Eagerly, he woke his daughter up and started undressing her, putting the day's clothes away to wash them later in the sink. They were covered with dried dirt and sure needed some good scrubbing. Then, apprehensively, he took out his own clothes that he put on the pile, and fumbled around for shampoo or anything at all for that matter. And what he found even exceeded his expectations. Bubbles. Fucking bubbles. Scents for the bath. Essentials oils. His silent crying turned into full blown sobs that he hid with the rush of water into the tub. Did he put his hands on the heir of some estate or something?! This was paradise. He was in heaven, that was it. He had died under that rain and was now taken to the paradise of the homeless, where he could now enjoy all the pleasures taken away from him while he had been living a mortal life. It was good knowing Earth but honestly, this place was so much better. Fuck Earth. When the bath was filled, he climbed into it, holding Elysia against his chest as she played sleepily with the bubbles. He had hidden himself in them up til his neck and was currently melting away with pleasure as he scrubbed Elysia clean from time to time. He didn't even notice the water getting a bit cold and their toes and fingers wrinkling with water. Nothing else mattered at that time. He was finally free of both the dirt and the tension on his back and shoulders. Carwyn noticed they had been in the bathrom for a while and so she got a little worried, but judging from the crying she heard, it would be best to leave Nath alone as he enjoyed the pleasure of a bath. It was a little heartbreaking to know that something as simple as a bath made him cry. That was another reason as to why she was determined to help him and spoil him for all the good things he had done - she could tell he was a good man just by the action of feeding his daughter first. Her own father wouldn't even do such a thing. While she waited for him and Elysia to exit the bathroom, she fixed the beds and cleaned up around the room before taking her own shirt off to switch into something else. She rummaged through her clothes before settling on a long sleeved shirt to make up for the hours of shivering she put herself through when she went on that job. After that, she sat on the bed and brushed her hair. Eventually – but unwillingly – Nath got out of the bath and took Elysia with him, laying her carefully in a soft towel as she sucked unconsciously on her tiny thumb. She was really exhausted. Gently, he dried her and dressed her, putting her pacifier – nicknamed Pacy when she couldn't yet pronounce the word, and the nickname had sticked to this day – in her mouth instead of her thumb. Then, he proceeded to dress himself up as well. Although he usually wouldn't wear his binder to sleep, he put it on under the shirt that served as his pajama top, and contemplated sleeping in his boxers only or with some sweatpants on. Oh, right, he still had those damn curves. The sweatpants would have to do. Finally, he opened the bathroom door, Elysia in his arms and perfect bliss painted on his face. He laid Elysia under the neatly arranged covers and sat next to her until he heard her respiration even, and kissed her goodnight. Then, he turned toward his roommate and tried making small talk before going to sleep. "Thanks for everything." he started. "It's been a while since I could enjoy a good bath." He paused. "You said you were running away from your family? They must be pretty rich for you to be able to pay such a luxurious room." She blinked at him, and raised a brow. "Luxurious? Oh, honey, this was cheap." She grinned at him, setting her brush asides on the bedside table. She leaned back and looked at him. "You should see my room at home. Twice the size as this. It's not my family as much as the family business..." Nath simply collapsed on the ground with how surprised he was. "C-Cheap... I couldn't even dream to afford it and you call it cheap... What world are we living in..." She laughed at his reaction before sighing heavily. "There's a lot of things that are cheap to me, Nath. But the money I have is from my father. You should see the things he could afford. He bought me a pony for my birthday once, the year after that, he gave me my own cottage. Last year, he gave me a tiara made of pure gold! It's more of a crown really. But I've only worn it once or twice." She paused. "I turned it all away because I was tired of being given things. I find giving easier than receiving. I gave my cottage to a homeless family of five, my pony to a little orphan girl, and my tiara I donated to an auction where proceeds go to people in need." "You're a beautiful soul." Nath almost weeped. "I take back every cautious measure I ever thought to take." He then chuckled as he sat back on the bed, looking at the ceiling, deep in thought. "How's it having parents? Well, parents as in a nuclear family, with two of them and what kids they have. Haven't gotten any of these. I mean, I did know who they were and I got a good replacement for them... Well, "replacement"... A sort of surrogate mother, if you will. But they couldn't keep me. They were tramps, and they'd visit me once in a while up til I turned 8. They fucked off and never came back. I like to think they died, it's better than imagining they just got tired to see the kid they brought into the world." He stopped, thinking out his next words, leaving time for Carwyn to answer. He was quite done yet though. Now that the dam was open, it felt as if everything he knew would overflow and engulf him in an interrupted speech. So he tried getting it out slowly, knowing that there was no way it could stay in any longer. "My parents don't love me, Nath. I am just merely a way for them to keep the line going. My brothers and twin have kids, I have kids, they carry on the family legacy." She sighed quietly, staring up at the ceiling. "The gifts were just things to tie me over. If they really loved me, they never showed it. My brothers were all I really had." She was quiet for an extra moment before turning to look at him. "But tell me more about yourself, how did you survive so long just wandering around? Wasn't it hard?" She was genuinely curious since even now, she had money to get anything she wanted. "Oh. Uh, well, I'll say that I owe most of my reflexes to my former travelling partner Elias. You know, I think I've mentionned him previously?" Nath sputtered out, taken aback by the question. Carwyn didn't seem like she wished to talk much about her family. Well, so be it, then. He wasn't going to pry. "I met him a while after leaving the orphanage when I was fifteen. At first, I really thought he was some creep, hitting on me while I was just enjoying a drink with the last of my money." He chuckled. "Turns out he was simply a charmer and he was actually a pretty decent guy when you knew him better. Well, some of his habits were pretty terrible, and he was always bringing girls in our tent, but I owe him most of my survival reflexes. Where to find good water, what you got eat while in a forest, where to find rest, how to find your way without a sign spellingg it out to you... He even taught me Magic. Ah right, I forgot to tell you I'm a mage. I'm a Telekinesis user, but I also resort to Earth Magic from time to time. So yeah, I owe him a lot. It made it easier to survive the second time I found myself living in the streets." He took a pause, taking on a more somber tone. "But it's still pretty heavy emotionally. Especially with how I was lead to live on the streets for a second time. I won't lie to you, it's about the hardest thing I've ever experienced, and I don't know many things that can live up to it. Living in misery is absolutely awful." His voice became no more than a whisper. "I don't think that if I had Elysia with me, I would have survived. Honestly, she's the reason I still keep going to this day. I'd gladly spit on anyone telling me she's just a burden and an extra charge. They don't get anything at all. Who are they to talk, seriously..." Shaking his head, he tried to make the grim tone go away, at smiled at Carwyn. "So make good use of that money of yours, okay?" Her eyes lit up when she heard him say that he was a mage. "Really? Me too! My tattoos move and can turn into real vines." She grinned and lifted her shirt slightly to show her tattooed torso. Once that excitement was over, she tilted her head. "How'd you end up on the streets if you don't mind my asking?" "Ah, it's a long and complicated story. It's gonna take some time to tell. I suppose you meant the second time I ended up on the streets, right? Because the first time around, I simply got there after leaving the orphanage." Nath told her. She nodded. "Yeah, the second time." She confirmed, still unsure if he was even comfortable with sharing the tale. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything." "I don't really mind." Nath assured her. "I haven't actually told this story to anyone, even though it's been two years now. I think that it was both out of shock and because nobody really stuck around to hear the full story, or even ask about it. I mean, who would want to spend their time with a tramp carrying a kid around?" He laughed dryly, looking away with a hand resting on his neck as a self-comforting gesture. "I think it all started about three years ago. I had just left Elias because of some argument we had and I found this really great town, Eskor was the name I think? I don't remember which country, only that it was far away. I just turned eighteen, had my hair freshly cut and I met this guy on the market. He's sort of a celebrity where he lives. Name's Sabian Angibault, the son of a famous religious family in town. His parents were all preach and no act though. Don't see how the people didn't see their bullshit a long time ago. Anyways, I met this guy and he was all nice and all talk. In the span of a day, he got me a place to stay and had started mentionning around the fact that I was a Mage, so I found some work real quick. At that time, I saw him like a godsent. He singlehandedly lifted me out of poverty in one day!" Nath took a second to catch his breath. "He was nice to be around. Kind of full of himself but I've seen worse. We quickly became friends. In fact, I've never seen someone become friends with another this fast. It felt like it was pre-destined, you know? And he eventually, he started to become somewhat flirty. He wouldn't do it in front of other people, supposedly because he feared his parents' reaction if they heard he was fooling around, but eventually I returned it. I mean, he was nice enough and I really liked him. So we started dating." Carwyn listened quietly, nodding along. So...he was gay? She cleared her throat. "He must've been great, then." She murmured, smiling at him. "Actually, I wouldn't say that. I was simply blind to it at that time, but he was the opposite of great." Nath shook his head, and took a deep breath, prepared to recall how terrible it had been. "I think that the reason we started dating in public was because of something I told him. Had he seen me like a man completely, I think he wouldn't have dared to show our relationship to the public. I mean, two men dating, one of which is famous and religious? How scandalous! How abhorrent! So he started going around, introducing me as a girl to everyone, up until the entire city would constantly misgender me. I was mad at him of course, of course I was mad! But I loved him. I thought that I could suck it up a bit, since he was usually such a sweetheart. He bought me so much, and he did so much for me. I couldn't simply let it go to waste. Who would I be, rejecting this man's good will?" Tears started to fill his eyes once again. "Before I could truly begin to tell him how uncomfortable I was getting, and try to initiate a talk, he proposed to me. The whole damn town must have been there. Of course I said yes. I had to say yes. They were all fawning over what lovebirds we were. I wanted to puke, but I said yes. I wish I'd say no. I wish I had ran away and told everyone to fuck themselves. But I didn't. I never said anything. I got myself into this." He shook his head sadly, trying to bite the tears down, but it was useless as sobs begun to shake his body. "He doubled down on this little game of his. Bought me more stuff I absolutely hated that any girl would have loved to get. But I'm not a girl. I'm not a girl and I've never been. He covered me in dresses and necklaces, speaking of the marriage like it'd be some national holiday or some shit. I wanted to run away, but I was too deep in. I loved him so much despite all of it. I didn't want to hurt him. And, in a desperate attempt to get me to like all of this stuff, he got me pregnant." Carwyn had gotten water to drink and the moment he had said the word pregnant she spat out her water. She wiped her mouth before looking him dead in the eyes, her gentle demeanor gone. "'Where is this man?" She questioned, her aura gone completely murderous and deadly. She cleared her throat and put on a smile. "Actually, it's probably best. I have been known to be quite ruthless when it comes to handling my enemies." She took a sip of her water again. "If you need anything, binders, whatever you need, let me know. I will get it for you. I want you to know that I am your friend, no matter what you identify as. Should anyone treat you like that again, they'll answer to the Abriam family. And we are not kind people when it comes to protecting what we care for." She sighed quietly. "Life has been cruel to you, but I wish to make sure you don't know that kind of pain ever again." Nath could only blink, too surprised to even resume his story. "You're not- You're not disgusted? At all? I thought that- I don't usually- I don't usually tell people that I'm transgender... I don't know what got into me tonight, I just- I mean-" He blabbered as tears spilled out, both of shock and happiness. It seemed he just wouldn't stop crying, like a dam had broken and the water was pouring out. She smiled at him and got up, handing him a little box of tissues from the table between the beds. "The only thing that disgusts me is bugs." She chuckled lightly. "But I could never be disgusted in someone who just wants to be themselves. You deserve the right to be yourself, Nath. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!" "O-Okay, I suppose I can do that..." Nath sniffed, to then blow his nose in a tissue. "Do you... want to hear the rest of the story?" Carwyn nodded quickly. "yes! Sorry for getting a little distracted." She smiled at him and sat back down on her bed, crossing her legs. "Alright, okay." He breathed deeply, trying to impede the flow of emotions that prevented him from speaking or thinking clearly – that or the exhaustion which was seriously starting to weight him down – and tried getting the rest of his story across. It awoke weird feelings in the pit of his stomach, a mixture of utter relief but somehow, of wrongness. Like he wasn't supposed to just cry onto the first person that had been kind enough to both share her dinner and room with him in years. Or perhaps wearing his binder for so longer had worn him down in turn. Maybe it was just his body dysphoria speaking, who knew. At this point, he was too tired and emotional to clearly define it. God he sounded like a crappy teenager. Ugh. "You know, I truly did believe he loved me. Besides trying to force me into womanhood, he was decent. I mean, he may have, ahem, forced my hand a bit for us to... Well, you know what I mean, right..." He blushed, glancing nervously at his asleep daughter as he tried to convey what he meant through thrusting gestures. "B-But he was adorable when I started expecting her. Well, besides calling me his wife and introducing me as Nathalie, which isn't my name. Not anymore, it's dead and it has been since I've been sixteen. And since I was eighteen, on the verge of nineteen at the time, it had been a solid two years at least." He cleared his throat. "But I digress. Although his attempts became more forceful, he kind of let me decide everything. Clothes, toys, furniture, he even gave me total choice of our baby's name! I thought it meant that he trusted me, and I needed that reassurance while I was feeling so miserable. Well, I already loved Elysia from the bottom of my heart, but bearing life and seeing my body truly appear as a woman's- yeah, because I was binderless at that time for obvious reasons- It just... screwed me up. On top of that, people were acting a little weird around me... They would always cover their eyes when i greeted them, as if I was a disgrace... I remember them saying 'my eyes!' quite a lot though, although it's probably unrelated..." Carwyn raised an eyebrow at his last statement ut said nothing much about it. "Sometimes you think you really know someone until they do something horrible and then you realize that you were being used, the entire time." I got out lucky. ''She looked up at him. "Some men want what you cannot give them and they will bind you until they have it. They will take everything away to make you listen to them. He tried to break you, turn you into what he wanted to be. He wanted to silence Nath, but you didn't let him win." She glanced at Elysia. "it's hard not to love something you created. They call it a mother's instinct but a lot of times mother's aren't that reliable. I'm glad she has you and not Sabian." She smiled at him. "She deserves someone who loves her, she deserves you. But I assure you, I'll make sure you don't have to suffer like you did with or after Sabian." ''Because I'll make him pay the ultimate price. ''She smiled at him. Nath beamed at her extremely sweetly, not really knowing what else to reply other than: "Thanks. It means a lot." Then he resumed his story: "I ended up realizing everything, after one too many experiences with his forceful attitude. It had been barely a few months since I brought Elysia to this world, and focusing on her rather than on our degrading relationship or my body truly helped. I was basically a housewife at this point, staying inside all day to take care of Elysia. I wanted to go outside more, but we didn't really have any stroller or anything to take her outside. Sabian got home after spending all of his day outside at the market. He was drunk from his 'special time' with his friends." He started shaking with anger, holding himself as he recalled the exact moment that had absolutely broken him at the time, back when he was so close to his breaking point and finally met it. "He started screaming at me for keeping on introducing myself as Nathaniel and as a man, which I ''wasn't to his own terms. He threw everything at me. How he thought marrying me and making me Elysia would make into a proper woman, that he felt sick for having fallen in love with a- a t-t-tranny..." He tried not to puke. "That he didn't know why he kept me around when all the chicks in town were falling for him, a-and after having his s-shot with- with others, that he-he decided to..." He then stopped a second to keep himself from sobbing out loud in the dead of the night, biting his lip so hard it drew blood. "I was holding onto Elysia at that time, and I'm so glad I did. He was so angry that I got afraid he'd hurt her. She was so fragile and small, god, she had barely learned to lift her head and the screaming had frightened her so badly... I was terrified and so, oh so mad, so I grabbed her baby bottle made of glass and I threw it at him. It shattered right on his face. I wished he would have just become blind, this son of a bitch, but he didn't even take any glass debris in the eyes. At least he wouldn't have been able to do what he did next." His breathing had gotten erratic, and only his grip onto Elysia's small, asleep form, kept him from completely falling apart with the memory at that point. His joints had blanched painfully at this point, with how hard his grip was. For two years, he had kept himself together for her sake, barely allowing himself any mourning at all to try and lift himself from poverty, but it all came crashing down on him tonight. "He tried to-to force himself into..." He begun, but had to stop to keep himself from puking, only succeeding in making a vague gesture. "S-Said it was m-my punishment... So I grabbed everything I could to throw it at him. I've never been more glad to have learned Telekinesis, god... I succeeded on keeping him away from me, but he then grabbed a bag, threw some of my stuff and Elysia's inside, and threw it, along with me and our newborn child, outside, in the rain. And told me to never come back to this town, or he'd make my life a nightmare. So I did what I could only do. I ran. And this is how I ended up on the streets once again, with my baby daughter at charge and no help whatsoever." Carwyn narrowed her eyes. "And where is Sabian now?" ''I will show him what it's like to be treated wrongly. ''"Just for personal reasons, after all, karma just needs a little shove." There was something rather off about her words. They were heavy with an emotion that even the toughest of men would fear, ''should ''fear. "No one will miss him, that much I can assure." She muttered, his eyes glazing over as she recalled things she once buried away. ''I'll get him for this. I'll make him pay. ''"No one will ever hurt you again. You are my friend, and thus a friend of my family." The smile she wore was now forces, a meek attempt to hide the intent to commit a crime. "U-Uh, as far as I'm aware, he still lives in Eskor...I think it's in this country, but I'm not sure anymore... I travelled quite a lot... He usually hangs out around the market with his friends to help merchants and comment on the girls that they see while drinking..." Nath replied quietly. "M-Maybe we should sleep now. It's getting late." "yes...we should sleep." She nodded, squinting. She shook her head. "Sorry, I just recalled something I thought I could run from. Anyways, night!" "Goodnight." Nath told her as he joined Elysia under the covers and turned off the lights, keeping in mind the small information she had given him about herself. But he'd soon forget it, right? It's not as if they were going to stay together. She had her own life, and so did he. But even for a night, it had been nice to share stories and just have some decent human interaction, one that wasn't motivated by personal interests but kindness, that is. How rare was it, to find someone like that? Finally at peace, he had no trouble falling asleep, clutching against him his daughter's small body, feeling more ready than ever to tackle the world for her sake. ---- Nath awoke at dawn, like he always did, and slipped in silence in the bathroom to wash his clothes and dress up. Soon afterwards, once his bag was done, he woke Elysia up in turn, making sure she stayed silent not to wake Carwyn up. She threatened to make a fuss when he took Pacy away, so he let her keep it while he dressed her, since she would most likely fall back asleep in his arms. Then, when he had gathered everything, he left a note to Carwyn thanking her for her kindness. Wanting to save money, he only bought breakfast for Elysia, that he fed her before she fell asleep again in her baby carrier, at which point he left some money of the barman's counter to try and alleviate Carwyn's bill. He then proceeded to walk out the door and stopped for a second, inhaling the morning's fresh air and bathing under the sun's golden rays. A new day was beginning. All hope wasn't gone just yet. Carwyn was up by then and skidded down the stairs, slipping until she finally caught her balance and ran outside. She looked both ways and zeroed in on Nath. She ran up to him. "You need a friend." She began, wheezing slightly as she tried to catch her breath. "I'm going to travel with you so you can have someone to talk to!" Nath could only blink. Gradually, a laugh built in his throat, that he let out simply because he could. It was a clear sound, a happy sound. And as he laughed, Nath realized he wanted to laugh more in the future. With this woman, if possible. He wanted to be happy. He wanted to stop focusing on surviving, and to start living, not longer saving and binding his time with the desperate but untrusted hope that he'd survive the night. And he wanted to let this hope soar, carry him as it grew. "Alright. I guess I could use company. Welcome to our little travelling group, Carwyn!" Category:Role-Plays